Comments on: Bipolar Husband? Bipolar Wife? Should You Stay Married?

By: Elizabeth Atlas

Elizabeth Atlas — Sun, 01 Aug 2010 23:36:54 +0000

Christine, just stop right there. Why should you “handle not getting it” from your husband? Affection is a big part of marriage, and should be a marital haven for you as your family grows. Do you really want to teach your kids that it’s OK to be emotionally deprived? What kind of future mates will that set them up for? You don’t mention if your husband is taking bipolar medication. If he isn’t, that’s the first thing you need to address. If he is, maybe it’s making him too lethargic to participate in your family life, and it needs to be adjusted. Believe it or not, it’s not too soon to be in family counseling. Things will only get worse as the kids get older. From the research I read, the onset of bipolar disorder is nurture and nature–part DNA and part environment. Therefore, strive to have the healthiest emotional home life you can.

By: christine

christine — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 12:19:50 +0000

I have a husband that is bi-polar also. we have two little girls, and part of the reason i’m going nuts is because he rarely shows them affection. i can handle not getting it from him, but i think his kids deserve his attention. our oldest daughter will turn 2 next month and last month was the first time he even helped me give her a bath. if i ask for his help with the kids he sulks and roles his eyes like he hates taking care of his kids. he requested that i quit my job, so i’m a stay at home mom now. both of the kids are still in diapers, the youngest is 7 months old and just crawling. Is it normal for somone with the disorder to be like this toward there family? MY mother is bi-polar also and she never showed affection either. aslo with the disorder on both sides of the family will my kids get it?

By: Elizabeth Atlas

Elizabeth Atlas — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 23:17:07 +0000

Rita, you don’t say whether your bipolar ex-boyfriend is taking his medication. Whether he is or not, it’s obviously not working for him. That’s his problem, not yours. You must not allow yourself to be a ping-pong ball to his moods. Set some ground rules for him if he wants to be with you. Or stick to your guns and stay broken up, if that’s what you want. Put your life goals first; not his.

Any readers have other suggestions for Rita?

By: Rita

Rita — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 22:57:40 +0000

I have a boyfriend that’s bipolar we have been together for 3 years I thought I was crazy. We have broken up several times in the last 3 years. The same problems ocure over & over again…..I love him for the help he has given me…but now I can’t get over the problems we have….this is difficult…..we have broken up, but he doesn’t seem to understand that. He is insistant on having sex..asking what I’m doing….I’ve stopped answering he’s calls, then he comes over….please help.

By: Elizabeth Atlas

Elizabeth Atlas — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 05:24:31 +0000

Kaylene, I’m so sorry for your loss. We are all to be commended for trying so hard to make our challenging relationships work, no? I truly appreciate your comments about my book and how it helped you. As *cold* as it may seem, in a relationship with a bipolar partner, you must reserve some of yourself for you and not invest every last drop of your compassion into your partner. May you find true happiness with your next partner!

By: Kaylene

Kaylene — Sun, 13 Jun 2010 09:26:13 +0000

Hello, I have just broken up with a beautiful guy with bipolar. He walked out the door. When I read this book “married to mania” I thanked God that I found it. I was blaming myself for everything, and continually wanting him back after a bad episode, and both of us had calmed down. I was in a terrible cycle. The book was right, my family did not understand, my friends all thought I was nuts, and I couldn’t talk to anyone about what was going on, no one understood. When I read the book, I could not stop, it was as though I was reading about my relationship. It answered so many questions, and the advice was excellent. People think I was lucky when he left and found someone else, very quickily I might add, but I was devastated. This book showed me it does not matter what I would have done, bipolar would have always be there. What an incredible woman the author is, and I can only imagine how hard it would have been to move on, but after two years in the same situation, you have no choice. Read this book if you do not understand bipolar it is excellent.

By: Elizabeth Atlas

Elizabeth Atlas — Sun, 21 Mar 2010 15:48:55 +0000

I would definitely call NAMI. They are aware of all the bipolar support groups and can direct you. It was very difficult for me to find a spouse’s support group, too. You just have to keep trying. If there isn’t a support group for wives or husbands of bipolar partners, start one! We are one of the most neglected (and most needed) populations! Other wives and husbands will seek YOU out!

By: Melissa

Melissa — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 23:52:34 +0000

Hello. I am trying to find an ongoing blog. I am the wife of a bipolar husband. I am looking for a support group here in my area. I found NAMI but from what I’ve read that is not specifically for spouses. I am on the brink of divorce and have been for a while. I have 3 little children and living with my spouse is a big challenge and only seems to be getting worse. He is a wonderful father but an awful communicator. I feel blamed by his family too and that is making my life more difficult. Any help you can provide would be great. Thank you!

By: Joe

Joe — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 23:35:35 +0000

This is a great website!
One of the symptons of my wife’s biploar illneass is Morbid Jealousy. She is totally irrational & has caused our family to break up to say the least. The privacy between her shrinks & myself only prolonged the misery & emboldned her stance towards our divorce.

To Alex: Perhaps you could share some of the things that have worked in your relationship. (l.o.l.)

By: admin

admin — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 01:44:45 +0000

Alex, I’m happy that you and your partner have found ways around your illness obstacles. You’re one of the lucky ones. Many more wives of bipolar husbands and husbands of bipolar wives struggle to find the balance between bipolar medications, behaviors and and not letting the bipolar illness consume their relationship. Perhaps you could share some of the things that have worked in your relationship.